Do My Friends Hate Me
At the end of the day, it’s all about social value. Your friends probably don’t hate you in the classic sense of the word. You are just no longer useful to them. And, in a sense, you kind of stand in their way when it comes to climbing the social ladder.
Once again, I’m sure this sounds pretty messed up, and it most definitely IS. But this is the way the vast majority of people operate. And no, it generally doesn’t go away with high school graduation or even college graduation. In fact, if anything, it becomes more pronounced as time goes on. And once you reach your 30′s and 40′s, the problem can be exacerbated by career success.
In other words, we have become “friends-with-benefits”… which means we do things together occasionally (generally speaking) but we aren’t really good buddies who hang out all the time. We may still like each other, but not nearly as much as our real friends. This isn’t necessarily bad news. On the contrary, it’s actually quite healthy. After all, friendships form based on mutual interests and values. If those interests and values change over time, then so too will the friendship itself.
The key point here is that while you might feel like your friends don’t care anymore, they very well could. They simply would rather spend their time with someone else because that person offers something they want – social value. The truth is that everyone wants to feel important and appreciated, especially after being with us for some length of time. Unfortunately, the reality of life is that there are only so many hours in the day and only one YOU. Therefore, it’s not possible for every single human being to be equally valued.
So what do you do? Well, if you think back on when you were younger, you probably made some choices along the way that left you feeling somewhat isolated from others. Perhaps you chose to play sports alone instead of playing with the team. Maybe you skipped joining clubs or volunteering at school events. These actions may seem silly now, but they had an impact in terms of making yourself less accessible to others. For example, let’s say you’re a student athlete, and you choose to join the basketball team alone. As such, you miss out on valuable opportunities to meet new people and make connections with people outside of your sport.
Or maybe you’ve been involved in extracurricular activities at school. Instead of joining groups, you shunned any involvement in organizations and clubs at school. Again, this makes it difficult for you to connect with others.
If this has happened to you, the first thing to remember is that your past decisions shouldn’t define how your future plays out. There is always time to turn things around. Now, you need to decide whether you want to continue living your current lifestyle or begin taking steps to reconnect with others. Here are five tips to help you get started.
Take full advantage of online tools. One of my favorite ways to stay connected through technology is LinkedIn. It allows me to keep track of colleagues, clients, and former students. While it’s true that sometimes we must accept that certain people won’t show up in our lives due to location constraints, there are also plenty of ways to use technology to increase your visibility.
Be open to meeting new people. Going to networking events is a great way to meet new people who share common interests with you. When you attend these events, take the opportunity to introduce yourself to others (even if you’re shy!). Another option is to create your own events where you invite your network to participate.
Find ways to fill your calendar with interesting stuff. People often tell me that they’d love to see me speak, but they never know when I’ll find the right date. The solution to this is simple – schedule meetings! By doing this, you ensure that you’ll have ample time to engage with others. Also, try scheduling non-work related events during times when you typically wouldn’t be busy. Take classes, volunteer somewhere, or visit family members. By doing this, you’ll be able to build relationships with people who have similar interests to yours. You’ll also be able to meet new people without having to worry about work commitments.
Set aside time for self-care. When was the last time you took a break from work and did something fun with your significant other? How long ago was it since you went out with friends? Taking breaks from your daily routine helps you recharge and reenergize. In addition to giving you time to reflect, these breaks give you a chance to reconnect with your loved ones. Even better, they allow you to spend quality time with them.
Keep your circle small. While it’s true that you should stay open to meeting new people, you shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that the best way to foster meaningful relationships is by keeping your social circle small. Doing this ensures that you’ll have time to focus on one or two individuals. The old saying “it takes ten thousand miles to run a race” applies here.
Remember, it’s all about social value. No matter how you view it, it boils down to numbers. In order to maximize your potential, you have to be aware of where you fit into the big picture. The bottom line is that you have limited amounts of energy, time, and money. So it’s critical that you allocate your resources wisely, and figure out what matters most to you. Once you establish priorities, you can start working toward achieving them.
You may be thinking, “What does social value mean anyway?” Social value is basically defined as the ability to provide benefit to another person. Think about it; if you wanted to achieve financial independence, would you invest all your efforts into becoming a millionaire entrepreneur, or would you pursue a role within an organization or company that allowed you to work alongside millionaires? Obviously, the latter choice would yield higher returns than the former. Similarly, the same holds true for personal development.
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that everyone should strive for greatness. However, it’s important to remember that not everyone is meant to be CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Some people are meant to serve as mentors, coaches, teachers, and leaders. Others are meant to contribute to society in different ways. Everyone’s path is unique. The main takeaway here is that everyone should do whatever they can to live a fulfilling life. By realizing this, you’ll be better prepared to handle setbacks, disappointments, and failures.
As you can see, there are numerous factors that influence how you perceive your worth. What’s important here is to acknowledge that regardless of how you currently perceive your worth, it’s likely that you can improve upon it. With effort, persistence, and support, you can overcome challenges and grow as a person. Of course, you must develop positive habits and cultivate supportive networks in order to do so. Remember, it’s all about social value.
How Do You Rate Yourself Based Upon Social Value? | Mindvalley
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