Home Psychology Do Younger Women Like Older Men

Do Younger Women Like Older Men

by Kristin Beck
Do Younger Women Like Older Men

Do Younger Women Like Older Men

“When your favorite actress is dating some hottie, you can’t help but notice it — and maybe even get jealous. You think she’s found someone who makes her look good and feel pretty, while you’ve been single for ages and are still feeling like a frumpy old maid. But that could just be our ageist attitudes talking! Turns out, there might really be something to this whole “”age gap”” phenomenon after all.
A study published by the University of California Berkeley suggests that people tend to prefer partners who are about 10 years their junior. And another study indicates that those same couples also tend to have better relationships than those formed between adults within five or six year differences. On average, the participants reported higher levels of satisfaction, trust, commitment and affection toward their partner if they were both at least 30 years old. That means the age difference isn’t necessarily what matters most; rather, it may come down to compatibility.
So why do we sometimes fall for actors who look like young Tom Cruise? The answer seems simple enough: We’re attracted to confidence. When you’re around someone who looks self-assured, no matter how much time has passed since you first met, you start to see yourself through his eyes. This is especially true if he’s confident as well. In fact, research shows that we find people attractive based on whether or not we’d want to hang out with them. So, if your date is confident, then you’re probably going to be confident too. It’s kind of like finding a mirror image of yourself.
But let’s take it one step further. If your guy is older, does that mean you should be older? Not necessarily. While younger women feel more comfortable with older men because they know all the right words to say when they feel pulled down, older men make them feel emotionally secure. They provide a safe haven where the younger woman knows she’ll always be accepted and appreciated. An older gentleman offers stability, purpose, security and support, which allows her to focus less on her career goals and more on other things in life, like raising children and enjoying family activities together.
Older men also have money, power and prestige, which gives them status among peers. These attributes give older men a leg up in the dating game, and they use these advantages to attract younger women. But don’t worry guys. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to a younger girl. She doesn’t need to be 20 years younger than you. Just as long as she shares some common interests with you and you have similar values, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeing each other again. Here are some tips on making sure that happens.
Know What Attracts Her
First off, know what attracts you. Is it physical beauty? Intelligence? Emotional intelligence? Be honest with yourself and write down what turns you on. Maybe it’s a pair of blue eyes, or great legs, or a smile that lights up the room. Once you know what you like, then you can figure out what your girlfriend likes. If you share similar tastes, you’ll have something in common that will bring you closer together.
Be Yourself
Don’t try to put on airs to impress her. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t. If you’re shy, act shy. If you’re outgoing, be outgoing. You shouldn’t change yourself to fit her expectations either. You may be surprised at how open she is to meeting new people or exploring new places, once she sees you actually live up to your promises.
Take Your Time
If you’re looking for love online, set up dates over email, text message or phone call instead of taking her somewhere public. You won’t be able to gauge her reaction until you meet her face to face. You don’t want to run into your ex boyfriend (or husband) from high school, do you? Also, keep the pressure off. Take plenty of pictures so you can show her what you look like without having to ask her opinion every time.
Have Fun Together
Spend quality time with her doing something you enjoy. Go bowling, hiking, horseback riding, camping, fishing, playing golf, dancing, attending concerts and plays, visiting museums, traveling, etc. Having fun is important. Find ways that you can spend time together away from work, family commitments and friends. You’ll be creating memories that you can share later.
Share Similar Values
You wouldn’t go out with someone whose political beliefs differed greatly from yours, would you? You shouldn’t go out with someone who doesn’t share many of your core values, either. For example, if you value hard work, consider spending your free time working on projects with her. Or if you admire honesty, tell the truth when necessary.
Keep Physical Contact Intact
It’s OK to touch her gently and lovingly during your interactions. Hugging, holding hands, kissing, massaging and caressing are appropriate forms of touching. Too much touching sends mixed signals and she may assume you want more intimacy than you’re prepared for. Hold back a little bit until you know exactly what she wants.
These guidelines will help ensure that you don’t end up with a hot blonde who thinks you’re a loser. Remember, attraction is all about chemistry. As long as you have some sort of connection, you’ll be fine. Now go on out there and find that special someone!
Author’s Note
I’m 32, and I’m currently dating a 24-year-old woman. Although we have similar backgrounds and philosophies, we have different outlooks on life. Our personalities clash often, and sometimes we argue. However, I find it refreshing that she accepts me exactly as I am. I’m happy to admit my imperfections and mistakes, and she encourages me to do the same. As a result, I feel more comfortable expressing myself freely with her.

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