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How To Be Happy Without Friends

by Clara Wynn
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How To Be Happy Without Friends

How To Be Happy Without Friends

How To Be Happy Without Friends? If you’ve ever said “I’d be happy if…,” chances are pretty good you can fill in the blank with something along the lines of “friends” or “a better relationship.” We all want these things. The problem is figuring out how to get them without actually acquiring any. And it’s not just about being happy, but also about improving our lives. Being unhappy doesn’t only make us miserable, but also makes us sicker and more likely to die sooner.  According to a recent study published by the American Journal of Preventative Medicine, people who were either angry or depressed had significantly higher risks for dying from cancer, heart disease, infectious diseases, accidents and violence, suicide, and other factors compared to those who were neither angry nor depressed. These results remained significant even after accounting for health behaviors such as smoking, drinking alcohol, exercise, obesity, and sleep habits.
This isn’t an isolated incident. Other studies have shown similar findings. For example, a meta analysis conducted by the University of York found that there was a small but statistically significant association between depression and mortality risk. In fact, researchers have been studying the effects of stress on our bodies since the 1950s. One of the most famous examples of this came when Harvard psychologist Walter Brown suggested that chronic unhappiness could cause catecholamine (adrenaline) production which would eventually damage the cardiovascular system. Since then, scientists have continued to investigate what causes unhappiness and how we can improve our quality of life while feeling less stressed.
So why do so many of us feel stuck? It may because we think happiness comes through acquiring certain material possessions, like money and cars. Or perhaps it’s due to the pressure to perform well at work, school, or family obligations. Yet another reason might be that we don’t see ourselves as worthy enough to achieve happiness. This lack of self-worth can stem from low self-esteem, poor body image, and negative thoughts about our abilities. These issues can be compounded by mental disorders such as anxiety and depression.
Since no one has a monopoly on happiness, I’m going to share some tips on how to find happiness within yourself first before turning to others. Then in the following sections, I’ll discuss ways to become happier once you realize you don’t need anyone else to help you do it.
Be realistic – Happiness is not a destination, but rather a journey. You can’t expect to be constantly smiling and upbeat every day. There will be times where you are sad, lonely, frustrated, or anything else under the sun. Expecting to always feel joyful is setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, try to accept that emotions come and go. If you catch yourself thinking negatively too often, take note of whether it’s related to your job, finances, family, or anything else. Once you pinpoint the root cause, figure out how best to address it.
Identify sources of happiness outside of yourself – No matter how hard we try, sometimes it’s difficult to be positive when everything around us seems bleak. However, there are many things that give us a boost to our moods. Spending time with loved ones, taking a walk outdoors, engaging in hobbies, exercising, meditating, listening to music, reading books, spending time alone, playing games, and watching movies can all increase happiness levels.
Learn to say no – Life is full of demands. Some of these demands are made upon us by others, while others are imposed upon us by ourselves. Either way, it’s important to learn to say “no” to commitments and tasks that aren’t aligned with our values. Saying yes to everything can sap away our energy and leave us feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. Don’t let your happiness depend on someone else. Take control over your time and resources.
Take care of your physical health – Your mind and body are connected. Both require proper nutrition, hydration, rest, and exercise. A healthy diet, adequate amount of sleep, and regular exercise keep your brain functioning properly, which helps prevent depressive episodes. On top of that, exercise boosts endorphins, reduces inflammation, increases HDL cholesterol, and lowers blood pressure.
Find support groups – While it may seem counterintuitive, joining a group of people with shared interests can actually provide relief from loneliness and isolation. Joining a club, hobby, sports team, faith community, or volunteering organization gives you something to look forward to and provides opportunities to meet new people. Plus, connecting socially can lead to lasting friendships.
Incorporate spirituality into your daily routine – Research shows that spiritual beliefs are linked to greater satisfaction with life, lower rates of depression, and increased longevity. Studies have demonstrated that the practice of meditation, prayer, yoga, tai chi, or mindfulness can reduce the impact of stressful events and promote feelings of calmness and inner peace.
Try new activities – When you grow bored with your existing lifestyle, it can become easy to fall back on old routines. However, doing the same thing day in and day out saps motivation and leaves us feeling stagnant and unfulfilled. Try new experiences. Travel, volunteer abroad, join classes, start a business, write a book, move to a new city, change jobs, adopt a pet, go skydiving, build a website, host potlucks, or anything else that challenges you physically and mentally. Not only will this broaden your horizons, but it can also open up a world of possibilities to pursue your passions.
Accept and embrace uncertainty – Acceptance means giving up on trying to predict outcomes and embracing instead the unknown. Uncertainty is a natural part of life. Trying to eliminate it can create unnecessary stresses and anxieties. As Albert Einstein put it, “You cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it.”
Stop comparing yourself to others – Comparing yourself to others can rob you of joy and fulfillment. Why compare yourself to others anyway? Everyone is unique and has their own set of circumstances that shape their path in life. So stop judging yourself based on external criteria and focus on what matters most to you. What does success mean to you? Learn to appreciate your strengths and weaknesses, and remember that everyone faces hardships and struggles in life.
Have fun! – Most people spend far too much of their life stressing over bills, careers, families, and other responsibilities. We forget to simply enjoy the little things and moments of our everyday existence. Stop worrying about tomorrow, and live today.

Being happy doesn’t require anyone else. All you need is the courage to step out of your comfort zone and discover what brings you joy. Remember that happiness is a choice.
Sophie Giordano is founder & CEO of VitalSmarts.com, helping adults master skills to thrive personally and professionally. She writes articles about career, wellness, psychology, entrepreneurship, and dating. Sophie graduated Phi Beta Kappa with Honors from Stanford University with a degree in Economics and Political Science. Her writing appears regularly in leading publications including ForbesWoman.com, Huffington Post, and Business Insider.

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2 comments

נערת ליווי August 1, 2022 - 8:41 pm

A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I do think that you ought to publish more about this issue, it may not be a taboo matter but typically folks dont speak about such topics. To the next! Cheers!!

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Israel xclub August 8, 2022 - 5:00 am

Itís difficult to find educated people in this particular topic, however, you seem like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks

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