How To Deal With Haters
Sometimes the hardest part of being in an open relationship is dealing with all the haters. We’re constantly fighting off people who want us to fail. We have to endure constant harassment and hate speech. Some days we feel like our social media accounts are just one big troll account.
In this article I’m going to share some tips on how to deal with haters. I’ll tell you what not to do and then offer up some suggestions on how to respond instead. I’ve been through my own share of haters over the years, so I know how hard it can be to keep your head high when faced with such vitriol.
The first thing I’d suggest if you find yourself facing down a hater is to ignore it. Don’t engage them. Walk away. If they follow you, block them. If you don’t think your account allows for blocking people, consider reporting them. You may also want to deactivate their account or change your privacy settings so they can’t interact with you anymore.
It’s important to remember that ignoring someone isn’t the same as agreeing with them. Ignoring someone means that you won’t see their posts (or tweets) but it doesn’t mean you agree with them. It simply means that you choose not to communicate with them at this time.
You should never make snap judgments. Ignore the haters until you get more information. They could be trolls looking to cause trouble or there could be something deeper going on.
Keep in mind that many haters will take advantage of anonymity to try to intimidate others. This happens frequently on Facebook and Twitter where anonymous users often harass other people without fear of reprisal. While you cannot control whether or not someone chooses to remain anonymous, you can use tools like Google Voice to hide your identity.
Another tactic used by haters is to post things anonymously. For example, they might start out posting supportive messages before eventually turning nasty after realizing their target has no way to defend themselves. When this happens, you need to be prepared to handle it professionally.
Don’t Be Afraid To Call A Troll What Is… One Of the best ways to deal with a hater is to call them out publicly. In fact, I encourage women to be bold and stand up to these bullies. Sometimes using humor can work wonders in getting rid of the haters. Here’s a great quote from comedian Amy Schumer.
“When you’re a girl, and you’re fat, and ugly, and wearing ill-fitting clothes, and men are telling you that you shouldn’t wear those clothes because you’ll look stupid, well, sometimes you gotta go ahead and do whatever f*cking looks good.” -Amy Schumer
While I understand that some folks don’t enjoy confrontation, I personally find it helpful to confront any hater directly. By doing so, I am able to call them out for exactly what they are. The confrontation helps me process the experience and gain insight into why I was targeted. And confronting a hater forces them to face their feelings rather than hiding behind the cloak of anonymity.
Here’s another piece of advice from Amy Schumer. “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them… Women are afraid men will kill them.”
This last bit of wisdom reminds me of the famous story about Albert Einstein and his theory of relativity. When asked about his theories he replied, “Relativity is nothing but common sense”. Common sense is something everyone possesses, regardless of gender. Use it wisely!
Block Online Haters. If you encounter a hater while browsing the web, be sure to block them. There are plenty of services available that allow you to block individuals on sites like Facebook and Twitter. Simply click Report/Block in the upper right hand corner of the offending tweet or post. Make sure to report them too.
The reason you should block them is because they won’t be able to contact you again. Once they’re blocked, they can’t send you insulting emails, texts, or anything else. Plus, if they’re contacting you via social media, blocking them prevents them from seeing your responses. That alone makes blocking useful. However, if you ever meet up with a person in real life, always be polite and let them know you’d prefer they didn’t speak to you.
Be Kind And Respectful, Even To Haters. As much as it pains me to say it, sometimes you have to treat haters like you would anyone else. Many times, they’re just having a bad day. Maybe they were caught in traffic on the internet or had a bad breakup. Whatever the reason, be compassionate and understanding of their plight. Remember, most haters are hurting inside too.
As annoying as it can be to receive hateful messages, remember that haters are usually trying to hurt you emotionally. You mustn’t give into hatred or anger. Instead, you should maintain your composure and stick with supporters. Try to avoid reacting in the heat of the moment. Responding to haters only encourages them.
Understand Criticism Can Be A Sign Of Pain. Another strategy I recommend is to listen to the critics objectively. Sure, it might be painful to hear negative feedback, but sometimes it comes from a place of love. People want to help you improve and provide constructive criticism. They’re trying to help you grow. So don’t discount that criticism just because it hurts.
For example, I recently wrote a review of a product I purchased called the Life Coaching Academy. I wasn’t impressed with the content nor did I like the price tag. My friends helped me realize that perhaps I needed to reevaluate my expectations. After taking some time to reflect, I realized that I actually liked the program itself, but I set unrealistic goals based on false assumptions.
So yes, sometimes criticism can be tough to swallow, but you should never brush aside criticism just because it stings. Listen to it carefully and examine it thoughtfully. Then ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”
And finally, one tip I learned from personal experience is to remind yourself that comments from a hater are a reflection of them and aren’t really about you. Comments from a hater are not meant to attack you as a whole. Their words are simply a projection of their inner thoughts onto you. No matter how offensive it may seem, remember that every single person is capable of saying something cruel. Everyone is capable of hating.
Your job is to recognize haters early and stay focused on supporting your fans. Never forget to appreciate the support of your followers. Appreciate the positive energy given to you by your supporters. Appreciation is the key to overcoming haters. Just remember, appreciation goes both ways.
Have you dealt with haters? How did you react? Share your experiences below.
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