How To Make Friends When You Have None
How To Make Friends When You Have None? If you’re like me, you’ve probably asked yourself at least once or twice how to make friends when you have none. Or perhaps it’s been a burning question that has kept popping into your head over and over again without any apparent resolution. How do we find friends? What if I don’t know what I want out of life? Is there an answer for me?
I’ll admit that these questions are not easy to answer because they go beyond my own experience. But I can assure you that there is one thing I learned from all those years of asking myself this same question – and that was to stop asking it! It wasn’t helping me much anymore. Instead, I started looking within myself to see who am I really and what kind of friend(s) would suit me best. Then I did some soul searching and discovered that I had become quite content with just being by myself. So I decided to look inward instead and ask myself “what does it take to be happy alone?” And then I realized something profound. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re unhappy. In fact, it may very well be the happiest time in our lives.
When we’re alone, we can focus on ourselves, explore ourselves more deeply, discover new parts of our beings and expand the boundaries of our consciousness. We can also cultivate our spiritual side so that we can live each moment through the lens of love, compassion and gratitude. Now that sounds pretty great to me!
So how do we find friends? Well, maybe it’s easier than we think. All you need to do is start living by intention. Start by setting aside time every day to connect with other human beings. Go somewhere where there is activity going on (a gym, a park, a coffee shop). Sit down next to someone and strike up a conversation. Say hello, smile, nod, listen and try to engage them. If you feel uncomfortable, relax. Don’t worry about what comes after that first step. Just stay open and allow the interaction to unfold naturally. See what happens. The rest will fall into place.
Here’s another tip: don’t force anything. You won’t succeed. That said, let me give you a few pointers based on my own experiences. First of all, don’t judge anyone. People come in all shapes and sizes. They range from introverts to extroverts, from shy to outgoing, from sensitive souls to bullies. Some people seem to have their entire life together while others appear lost and confused. There’s nothing wrong with either type. As long as you treat everyone equally and with respect, you should be fine.
The most important thing to remember is that nobody wants to hear your pity party story. If you can’t help but tell it, then you might want to consider therapy or joining a support group. Otherwise, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares. Your problems aren’t theirs. If you really want to bring attention to your situation, show resilience and move on.
Another piece of advice is to avoid comparing people to others. Who we are is unique to us. Our personalities are formed by many factors including genetics, environment, and upbringing. Not everything that happened to our parents or grandparents has relevance to us. We were born different. Acceptance is key here. Try to accept people for who they are and not for what they happen to possess.
Don’t bother trying to impress people. They already know whether you’re smart or stupid. Leave the labels behind. Just be your true self. Be authentic, be real, be true to you. No matter what, always strive to express yourself openly and honestly. Never hold back. Always put your heart and soul into whatever you say and do.
In short, be yourself. Embrace your uniqueness. Love who you are. Live authentically. Trust yourself. Follow your intuition. Find happiness inside. Connect with nature. Surround yourself with beauty. Life is too short to waste time trying to fit in.
And lastly, never forget that we are all interconnected. We may differ in appearance, personality, beliefs, culture, etc., but deep down we are all connected. This means that we are all part of the same universal energy field which extends across space and time. Feel the connection and embrace it. After all, the universe is infinite.
What else helps you when you have no friends? Share your thoughts below.
About the author: Mike Jay is a motivational speaker, success coach, and founder of MyLifeChallenge.com — a community dedicated to personal growth and development. He is also the creator of the Power Of Choice Theory, a revolutionary idea that changed his life forever.
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