How To Resist The Urge To Masturbate
“Most people have at least one sexual fantasy or urge, and many have multiple fantasies. Some of these are common ones like those about someone we’re attracted to (like a celebrity), while other fantasies may seem less socially acceptable. If you feel you might want to try out your own desires, it’s important to understand why they exist in order to develop strategies for resisting them.
Masturbation is an activity associated with pleasure and relaxation. Yet masturbation can also cause anxiety and stress. When you experience this type of negative reaction after engaging in self-pleasure, ask yourself what your motivations were for doing so. Was there something wrong with your body? Were you trying to fill some void by using sex as an escape from emotional concerns? Or was it because you felt guilty or ashamed? In any case, it’s likely that if you had stopped to think before acting on your urges, you wouldn’t have done it.
You should consider whether or not you really need to fulfill your urges. For example, if you’re going through a stressful period, it may be better to distract yourself than to give in to the temptation to masturbate. One way to do this is to spend time alone, reading, taking walks, talking to friends, having hobbies, exercising, etc. You could even engage in activities that don’t require much physical movement.
If you know that masturbation will only lead to trouble, then you should avoid it altogether. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t enjoy being touched; just make sure that you don’t use touching as a substitute for real intimacy when you can’t be physically together.
Urges aren’t always bad. Sometimes they can tell us something important about ourselves. If you’re feeling down or anxious, you may want to take advantage of your urges to explore how you’re feeling. It may be that your emotions have become trapped in your unconscious mind, where they’re causing problems but unable to get expressed. By exploring your feelings, you’ll gain valuable insights into yourself – insights that you may otherwise ignore.
In addition to helping you deal with problematic urges, masturbation can actually enhance certain types of relationships. A study showed that women who masturbated often experienced greater satisfaction from intimate relations with men. And another study found that couples reported enhanced closeness and affection during intercourse when both partners used masturbation techniques during lovemaking.
It’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to masturbate. But whatever decision you make, you should keep in mind that masturbation isn’t inherently bad. So long as it doesn’t interfere with anything else you’re trying to accomplish, masturbation can actually prove beneficial.
Here are some tips for overcoming urges to masturbate:
Avoid pornography. Exposure to pornography may trigger the desire to masturbate. Stay active. It can be helpful for a person to find ways to occupy their time that does not trigger the desire to masturbate. Seek professional help. Spend more time with others. Exercise. Find a support group.
Examine your motives. What are you hoping to achieve by masturbating? Is your goal to relieve tension, bring peace, or release repressed emotion? Do you see masturbation as a means of coping with boredom or loneliness? Once you’ve identified your goals, you can begin to figure out which parts of your fantasies are serving you well and which parts may be preventing you from achieving your goals.
Focus on positive aspects of your sexuality. Don’t dwell exclusively on your negative thoughts about masturbation. Instead, focus on all the things you love about your body and your sexuality. This can help remind you that masturbation is healthy and normal.
Keep your environment clean. Cleaning up your bedroom and bathroom can eliminate opportunities for self-touch. Make sure everything you touch has been washed thoroughly. Also, remove items around your home that may be triggers for your urges.
Be aware of your surroundings. Avoid places where you may be tempted to indulge in self-pleasure such as public washrooms. Keep your phone close by so you won’t be able to check messages or surf the web.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Focus instead on your personal experiences and characteristics.
Identify and challenge unrealistic beliefs. Negative thoughts about masturbation may come from inaccurate assumptions or false beliefs. Ask yourself if your ideas about masturbation are based on myths or stereotypes that you learned in childhood.
Practice mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness meditation involves focusing completely on the present moment without judgment. Meditation can provide relief from unwanted urges to masturbate by slowing down your thinking process and quieting your mind. Try to practice daily.
Reframe your responses to your urges. Reframing means changing the way you view situations that trigger your unhelpful reactions. Perhaps you tend to say “”I’m disgusting”” or “”This is too embarrassing.”” Instead, try saying “”I am safe”” or “”This is pleasurable.””
Try desensitizing exercises. These involve learning how to relax your muscles until they no longer respond. Use a timer to gradually increase the amount of time you hold your finger against a sensitive area, such as your clitoris. Gradually extend the duration of stimulation over several sessions.
Use lubricant. Lubricants will reduce friction and discomfort. They may also provide additional sensory feedback, thereby enhancing sensations. Be careful though; applying too much lubricant can create its own set of problems.
As mentioned earlier, masturbation is usually considered a private matter. However, it can also affect those around you. We encourage you to share your experiences with masturbation and discuss them with your partner. Your relationship will benefit from honest communication.
We hope this article helps you overcome your urges to masturbate. Please let us know how things went for you!
©2010 P&G Health Research Institute. All rights reserved.”
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