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How To Stop Hating Your Life

by Lyndon Langley
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How To Stop Hating Your Life

How To Stop Hating Your Life

I’ve been thinking about how I hate my life lately. It’s not like I’m sad or depressed; it feels more like anger at myself for being stuck with such an unfulfilling existence. But why? What have I done that makes me so unhappy?
It’s because of the way I think about problems. Instead of looking at them from all sides, I tend to see only one side. For example, when asked by someone else what was wrong, I’d generally say “Nothing.” And if pressed further, I might say “Well, nothing big.”
The problem is, “nothing” isn’t really nothing. There’s always some underlying issue or conflict that caused the current situation. If we don’t look deeper, we’re missing out on understanding where our unhappiness comes from.
If I were to ask another person what they thought was wrong with their marriage, they would likely respond differently than the same question posed to me. They would be more inclined to give me a detailed response. But even though they will provide details, they may also fall into the trap of seeing themselves as helpless victims who can’t control their own lives.
We often become angry and frustrated when we feel we cannot escape certain situations. We want more out of life. In fact, we deserve more. The problem is that we need to develop a different mindset. We need to stop hating our life.
In this post, I’ll share five ways that you can start making your life better—starting today. Then, I’ll explain what you can do next to ensure your success.
1) Start By Taking An Interested Dialectic Perspective On Problems
When we have a problem, we often try to solve it ourselves. After all, we know the solution best. However, sometimes it’s helpful to step back and view the situation from another perspective. When we do so, we begin to understand why we keep getting stuck in the same place over and over again.
One way to learn more about our problems is to practice engaging in a dialectic perspective. This means taking an interested perspective on a particular topic without immediately jumping to conclusions. As philosopher Karl Popper once said, “every theory [or hypothesis] must at first appear ridiculous… until later generations recognize its value.”
So, let’s use the following scenario. You just got laid off from work. Suddenly, you realize that you are broke and can’t afford food. As a result, you go hungry everyday.
You could decide to blame everyone around you (your boss, coworkers, family members, etc.) for your predicament. Or, you could engage in a dialectic approach and consider that maybe you went through a series of unfortunate events that lead to your unemployment. Maybe you weren’t cut out for this kind of career path. Perhaps you should find a new line of work.
By stepping away from our preconceived notions, we can gain valuable insight into why we suffer. And, hopefully we can then achieve positive change.
2) Be Ready To Take Immediate Action
After you start to develop a dialectic perspective on a problem, you probably won’t want to put it down right away. Because after all, you already know everything there is to know about it.
However, before you can truly benefit from practicing a dialectic perspective, you first need to acknowledge that there is a problem. Many people avoid acknowledging issues because they don’t want to deal with the emotions associated with them. But, if you ignore these feelings, then they eventually come to haunt you.
For example, after losing his job, Joe didn’t seek any type of assistance. He felt ashamed that he couldn’t pay rent. So, he decided to live in a homeless shelter. Eventually, he became addicted to alcohol and drugs. He lost his entire savings account.
Many people don’t realize that they are suffering until it’s too late. They feel hopelessness and despair. That’s precisely why it’s important to be ready to act immediately when problems arise.
3) Seek Short-Term Crisis Help
Sometimes, people avoid dealing with problems because they fear the emotional pain involved. Other times, they simply lack the resources to address whatever it is that’s going on in their lives. Either way, many people prefer to wait until they experience a full-blown crisis before seeking outside help.
This is especially true when it comes to personal relationships. People often hold onto the hope that everything will magically improve on their own. They delay talking to friends and loved ones about their concerns. After all, they believe that their relationship will somehow fix itself.
But in reality, it doesn’t matter how good your relationship is. Sometimes, it’s not strong enough to handle the stressors in our lives. This is why it’s so essential to talk to other people when you notice problems cropping up.
4) Search Long-Term Solutions With A Professional
Unfortunately, most people never search for solutions outside of themselves. Most people don’t bother finding out what others have done to overcome similar circumstances. And, many people never reach out to a mental health professional.
In contrast, those who do both enjoy greater success in life. Why? Because professionals typically have access to knowledge and expertise that we don’t. Professionals can help us navigate complex social settings. They can offer advice based on years of real world experiences.
Furthermore, working with a therapist allows you to develop meaningful connections with those who genuinely care about your well-being.
5) Make Changes Based On Experiences From Others
Lastly, it’s very easy to compare yourself to others. We tend to assume that other people have achieved what we desire. We assume they made it happen on their own. Yet, we rarely reflect upon whether we can actually accomplish what we set out to do.
To combat this tendency, I highly recommend reading biographies of successful individuals. Read autobiographies written by figures such as Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., Oprah Winfrey, and Steve Jobs. These books will help you identify patterns within your behavior and habits.
From there, you can use this information to alter your perspectives and actions.
What Can You Do Next To Change Your Life?
These five steps can help you move forward toward living a happier life. But, you can’t expect overnight results. You must persevere and consistently apply yourself.
And remember, nothing changes unless you take action. No amount of wishing or dreaming can bring about lasting change. Only you can make the necessary changes.
That’s why I encourage you to spend time reflecting on each of these points. Think about how you can incorporate them into your daily routine. Once you do so, watch your life transform before your eyes.
Now, please tell me, what do you think has been holding you back from experiencing happiness? Please share your thoughts below!

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