Is Kissing Cheating When In A Relationship
There are those who believe a man and woman should only be intimate in the confines of marriage. They think kissing can lead to nothing but trouble. Others take this belief one step further by believing it’s not merely inappropriate to “cheat” on your partner with a kiss, but actually cheating in general. Is this true? Or is there another way to look at it? Let’s examine some scenarios and see what we come up with.
Scenario 1 – You’re dating someone for awhile now and you’ve been very intimate. One day you decide to give her a peck on the cheek when she walks past you. She turns around expecting to get kissed back and gets surprised when you don’t. Instead, she feels like an object instead of a person because she expected reciprocation from you. And you feel guilty about it because it just isn’t right to treat any other human being as if they were an object. So you try again, only this time you go in for the full lips-full-of-tongue kiss. It doesn’t work out too well though. Afterward, she tells you how uncomfortable she felt during the whole thing. You tell her you didn’t mean anything bad by it. But deep down you know you did. Later on, you admit this was your first mistake because you didn’t realize how wrong it was. Now you want to stop doing it altogether. The problem here is that even after learning the lesson, you still have no clue why it made her so upset.
What happened here? Wasn’t it obvious? Did you forget that people like their personal space? If you had given her a little bit of space between them, maybe she wouldn’t have gotten all flustered. Yes, it may seem silly to you that she would have gotten uncomfortable over such a simple action, but we tend to react differently than we expect others to do. We often find ourselves reacting negatively to things that make us feel uncomfortable. That’s why it’s important to remember that things happen for reasons beyond our understanding. Maybe she wasn’t comfortable with it because it seemed forced. Perhaps she thought it was weird that you weren’t giving her your full attention while walking down the street like you normally would. Whatever the reason, she took it personally and got hurt. Why? Because she believed you meant harm when you gave her a light peck on the cheek.
It could also be that she just doesn’t like getting kisses like that. Perhaps she prefers a longer, more passionate type of kiss. What else might have caused her discomfort? Well, it could also be that she has an aversion to public displays of affection (PDA). This is where the idea that kissing leads to nothing but problems comes from. While PDA does create drama, it really shouldn’t. Sure, it causes arguments sometimes, but it doesn’t always. Some women prefer to keep their relationship private for fear that everyone will notice. Sometimes it’s better to respect their wishes rather than force yourself upon them.
Scenario 2 – Same scenario as above, except this time you decide to wait until you two are alone before doing anything physical. You walk hand-in-hand down the sidewalk and she goes into a store ahead of you. When you reach the door, you turn around and find that she has already left. Your heart sinks and you start thinking about what just happened. Then you remember you wanted to buy her some flowers. You figure you’ll pick up a bouquet tomorrow. On your way home, you pass the same flower shop and decide to surprise her tonight with roses. As luck would have it, she happens to be outside the store buying balloons. You grab her arm and pull her inside the store. Once she notices the flowers, she starts laughing and says she’d love to accept them, but she just bought balloons. You then ask her what she thinks about the fact that you waited until today to bring these flowers to her. She explains that she saw you coming toward her earlier and decided to leave early to avoid having to talk to you. She said she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to accept the gift because she knew you probably spent money on them. You apologize for making her worry and assure her that you won’t do it again. Still confused, she thanks you for the gesture and leaves.
So what happened here? First off, it’s pretty clear that you didn’t mean anything harmful by the kiss. You simply wanted to show her how much you cared about her. Even though it ended poorly, it didn’t end badly. There’s no real reason to believe she was cheated on. Again, it could be that she has an aversion to public displays of affection. Second, you apologized to her. She accepted your apology and thanked you for the gesture. Third, you didn’t pressure her into accepting the roses. Lastly, you let her choose what she wants. None of these actions indicate that you cheated on her.
As you can see, both scenarios point towards you not cheating on your significant other. However, one ends up causing drama and conflict whereas the other doesn’t. Which one do you think is best? I say go with option B. Let her choose. Don’t force your desires onto her. Also, if you think she’s feeling pressured, offer to call and set a date/time where you’ll drop off the flowers. Just be respectful of her needs and preferences. You can never please everybody anyway!
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