What To Do When Your Family Hates You
We all have our own personal demons we battle on a daily basis. I’m sure yours is no exception. Maybe it’s something as simple as anger management issues, or perhaps you struggle with self-esteem. No matter what the underlying issue may be, there will always be people within your life that try to cause harm through words or actions. The problem is when they do things like shout at you, insult you, or threaten you. That type of behavior can often lead to physical violence and even death.
When someone behaves this way toward me, my first instinct is usually to yell back at them, defend myself, or strike out at them. This response only makes things worse because now everyone involved feels bad about themselves and starts treating each other poorly. But instead of dealing with the issue head on, try to find a better solution than lashing out. Try to enforce healthy boundaries with your family members and let them know if you feel hurt by their actions in a calm, and well thought out way. Remove yourself immediately from situations that make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Opt to cut ties with those who you feel are unhealthy. Also, think long and hard before going against their wishes. If you’re certain you need to break off contact with them for whatever reason, then go ahead and do so. Don’t waste your time trying to change their minds or beg them not to do something you know they’ll never stop doing.
If you’re lucky enough to still have some good relationships left with your loved ones, don’t forget to take care of yourself too. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the drama of everyday life and to ignore how much stress you’re under. So many times, I see friends or colleagues become physically ill over work related stress. It doesn’t help anyone when someone tries to push us into negative emotions just because they want to feel powerful. Remember, you deserve happiness and peace of mind. Take care of yourself by eating right, exercising regularly, getting plenty of sleep, and spending quality time with your friends and family. The best thing you can do for your health is to stay alive!
I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid any direct confrontations with my mother. However, I am aware that she has made several attempts to manipulate me throughout my adult years. She once tried to convince me to drop out of college (which would later result in her threatening to disown me) and another time she told me she was worried about me while I was traveling alone in Europe. These were both instances where I felt threatened and vulnerable. And although neither incident ever turned violent, the emotional turmoil caused me to lose focus on my career and led to serious financial difficulties down the road.
As far as your immediate family goes, there may be times where you feel slighted by them. Like you said, you should handle these situations calmly and respectfully. Don’t allow pride to keep you from speaking up and letting them know exactly what’s going on inside your head. You could also consider taking steps to protect yourself and your property from possible threats. For example, you may decide to install surveillance cameras around your home; or maybe you’ll start carrying pepper spray (or one of the many other options available). Whatever route you choose, make sure you’re comfortable with it because it’s very unlikely your family members won’t try to pressure you into using it. Just remember, any kind of weapon is illegal in most states unless you qualify for a concealed carry permit.
Even if you don’t believe your family is capable of harming you, try keeping an eye open for warning signs that they could be plotting against you. Be vigilant and stay alert to anything suspicious. If you notice evidence of a crime being committed, report it to the proper authorities immediately. Never hesitate to call 911 or seek professional assistance if necessary.
Here are some tips to follow if you suspect someone close to you might be planning on hurting you:
1. Keep your cell phone handy and turn Bluetooth off. Make sure you’re able to access your voicemail without being connected to others via your phone.
2. Install apps on your smartphone that enable you to monitor your GPS location, including Google Maps & Location Services and Lookout.
3. Create an anonymous email account in case you need to block someone from contacting you. Or use Truecaller to hide your real number.
4. Set up a secret online password storage service like LastPass or 1Password. Use different passwords for every website you visit and store them safely away from your computer.
5. Check websites for security vulnerabilities and update your software regularly.
6. Enable two-step verification on your accounts to add more protection.
7. Get yourself a safe. Ideally, it should fit comfortably in your hand and be small enough to conceal.
8. Carry emergency cash in your wallet, along with copies of important documents.
9. Protect your social media accounts by setting privacy settings.
10. Stay active in discussions on forums and message boards. Report inappropriate comments and posts.
11. Delete unwanted calls automatically.
12. Learn basic self defense skills.
13. Have a trusted friend or coworker check on you periodically.
14. Treat your mental and emotional state seriously. Seek medical attention if needed.
15. Avoid arguments and conflicts whenever possible.
16. Exercise caution when meeting strangers.
17. Know your rights. Contact local law enforcement agencies if you believe someone is abusing their power.
18. Always bring extra insurance coverage with you wherever you travel.
19. Consider installing a car tracking app.
20. Buy a nonlethal stun gun.
21. Arm your dog with a shock collar.
22. Practice defensive tactics.
23. Become familiar with local laws regarding weapons and firearms.
24. Install anti-theft systems on your vehicles.
25. Don’t share your PINs with anyone.
26. Don’t tell anyone where you live, where you work, or any identifying information about you.
27. Inform friends and co-workers of your whereabouts at all times.
28. Ask people to put your name on caller display.
29. Monitor your credit and identity theft reports closely.
30. Pay bills promptly.
31. Secure your mail box.
32. Change your locks and remove keypads.
33. Hide your valuables, such as jewelry and money, in multiple places.
34. Store your keys separately from your house so intruders cannot gain entry easily.
35. Ensure your garage door opener is unplugged when not in use.
36. Keep your garbage bins locked.
37. Install motion sensors outside your house.
38. Replace your deadbolt lock with a stronger model.
39. Use sturdy smoke alarms in each room of your house. Test them monthly.
40. Put your spare keys in a secure place.
41. Don’t leave food lying around unattended.
42. Install window bars or install metal screens on sliding glass doors.
43. Get rid of climbing plants near windows.
44. Move any valuable items out of sight.
45. Prevent kids from leaving bicycles unlocked in your yard.
46. Purchase fire extinguishers and carbon monoxide detectors.
47. Hang outdoor lights.
48. Invest in high quality locks.
49. Lock your front gate.
50. Upgrade your homeowner’s policy.
51. Review your current policies and adjust accordingly.
52. Create a crisis plan for emergencies.
53. Install fire sprinklers.
54. Install alarm systems.
55. Install flood detection devices.
56. Perform regular maintenance checks on your heating system.
57. Adjust your thermostat according to season changes.
58. Turn off the water supply valve during repairs.
59. Unplug appliances when not in use.
60. Shut off electrical panels during renovations.
61. Regularly inspect chimneys and drains for clogs.
62. Update your contacts list.
63. Keep a detailed record of your belongings.
64. Create a list of your possessions and their values.
65. Establish a safety budget.
66. Give your pet ID tags.
67. Install an indoor air filter.
68. Clean your exhaust fan filters.
69. Create escape routes in case of fire/emergency.
70. Maintain your vehicle properly.
71. Repair leaky faucets.
72. Fix broken water heaters.
73. Run your dishwasher efficiently.
74. Shower after strenuous activity.
75. Wash clothes and linens frequently.
76. Wipe down countertops with disinfectant wipes.
77. Dispose of old medications responsibly.
78. Keep nails trimmed.
79. Rotate prescription bottles.
80. Throw away expired coupons and gift cards.
81. Switch to LED bulbs.
82. Refrain from smoking.
83. Wear sunscreen.
84. Visit your dentist regularly.
85. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables.
86. Brush your teeth twice a day.
87. Floss regularly.
88. Drink eight glasses of water per day.
89. Go to bed early.
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