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Why Am I Attracted To Older Men

by Kristin Beck
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Why Am I Attracted To Older Men

Why Am I Attracted To Older Men

“There are so many reasons why we can be attracted to older men and here is one more reason why you might find yourself drawn to them. You have probably heard the saying “”we all want what we couldn’t have””. This means that if you didn’t get the attention or love from someone when you were younger then maybe this has now lead to you being drawn to these types of men because they do fill that gap for you.
Let’s face it, not everyone who is single looks like their age. It’s OK to look good even if you are 40 if you’ve got a great career and a loving family life. However, some people just don’t have those things. They may not have had the experience of seeing themselves in photos with their parents at different ages and therefore don’t know how old they actually appear in real life.
So, instead of looking at pictures of yourself as a child, try looking at yourself as an adult. Think about the first man you fell in love with. Was he older or younger? Did you realise that he looked much older than you thought at first? Perhaps you didn’t think anything of it but once you saw him without his shirt on you realised that he must be very fit and muscular! What would you say if I told you that you found yourself attracted to him simply because he appeared older than you? Well, there are a lot of other reasons too. Here are just a few…


They’ve been through the wars – they’ve seen everything. There’s no denying that life tends to throw its fair share of curve balls at us at times and sometimes these can cause us pain and heartache. When we’re young though, we tend to focus on our future and often forget that our past doesn’t disappear overnight. We need to learn to let go and move forward. Some people never seem able to do this and carry on living in the past. These are the ones who turn to alcohol or drugs to numb out the pain caused by their experiences. Once sober though, they still feel lonely and empty inside. Others however, take time to get over their emotional wounds and end up attracting older guys who are mature enough to handle their emotions. Guys who’ve gone through the war (and survived) will understand exactly what you are going through and perhaps most importantly, they’ll empathise with you.



They’ve experienced life. Yes, we grow up and learn new things every day, but some people never really develop any skills to deal with life. They are stuck in their childhood roles and live the rest of their lives trying to play catch-up. The older guy you’re attracted to may have already lived through divorce, illness, redundancy etc. and if he has, he’s likely to be pretty resilient anyway. He’s certainly going to be better equipped mentally to navigate life than someone who hasn’t yet learned to deal with the ups and downs of daily existence.



They’re confident. Confidence is something that develops over time. While some people are born ‘confidence junkies’ others struggle to gain confidence until they reach adulthood. As we get older we begin to lose self-esteem and become more aware of our limitations. Sometimes we see this reflected back at us in the form of negative comments made by others which makes us doubt ourselves. An older man won’t care whether you believe in yourself or not. In fact, he may encourage you to stand up for yourself in ways you haven’t done before.



They have perspective. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes things happen to us that make us question why. One thing is certain though; life goes on. Even bad things have their silver linings. An older person knows that life is tough and gets on with it. They’re unlikely to sit around feeling sorry for themselves. Instead they are happy to embrace challenges and opportunities alike. Their attitude gives you hope and helps you to see beyond the current situation.

Whatever your reasons for finding older men attractive, remember there’s nothing wrong with you. Just because you aren’t physically attracted to somebody doesn’t mean they aren’t right for you. Don’t allow yourself to judge anyone based on appearances alone. Every relationship needs to be built upon respect, compassion, understanding and trust. All relationships require work to keep them healthy and strong. So whatever your reason, enjoy the journey and have fun along the way.”


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