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Why Do Guys Play Hard To Get

by Lyndon Langley
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Why Do Guys Play Hard To Get

Why Do Guys Play Hard To Get

You’re out on a date and you want him to think that you’d really love for him to kiss you right there at the restaurant but instead you give him your phone number and tell him you have an early morning meeting tomorrow. You make sure he calls first thing in the morning and leave it up to him to set up the time and place for their next date. He finally agrees to meet you after work.
When you see him walk through the door, though, he doesn’t seem all too thrilled about seeing you again. He makes small talk while sitting across from you at dinner and then excuses himself early to go back to his office. The next day, he doesn’t call and leaves you another voicemail saying that he can’t quite figure out how much time he’ll actually be able to spend with you tonight because he still needs some paperwork finished before going home. After making plans to meet him later this week, you end up having sex with him just once — and only when you agree to it.
It may not feel great at first, but playing hard to get is a common behavior among women. Researchers even found that they could encourage men to play hard to get by priming them with feelings of avoidance. When a man feels like he has to protect himself from being hurt, or when he feels the need to always be in control, he’s more likely to do these things. In short, if he wants to avoid getting rejected, he will start acting as if he does.
So what exactly are we trying to achieve here? Is it possible to use this tactic without completely losing our cool? What happens when we act “hard to get” and why do guys respond so well to us when we do? Read on to find out.
What Are We Trying to Accomplish Here?
Many people who’ve been accused of playing hard-to-get know that they might come off as somewhat manipulative or overly aggressive when they employ this strategy. They don’t necessarily mean to manipulate anyone; they just don’t understand how to treat someone respectfully.
The idea behind playing hard-to-get is simple enough: If a guy thinks that you won’t accept any kind of physical contact until he meets you in person, he’s going to take extra precautions to ensure that you never get close to him physically. This way, he’s less likely to become attached to you emotionally before you ever meet.
If you’ve dated a lot of guys, you may already know that guys tend to fall into two categories: Those who chase girls (or try to) and those who let girls chase them. Chasers are typically the ones who initiate dates and phone conversations. Letters are often easier to deal with — they wait for others to reach out to them.
Playing hard-to-get is essentially a middle ground between the two. It’s meant to be used sparingly but effectively, and many women have trouble figuring out how best to apply it. Some believe that you should never play hard-to-get. Others say that you should only do it occasionally. Still other experts recommend using it as little as possible, particularly since it tends to cause problems. So which one is right?
As far as I’m concerned, the answer depends heavily on the context of each interaction. Many times, it isn’t appropriate to use this method at all. For example, if you’re dating a new guy you met online, you shouldn’t resort to tactics such as sending multiple text messages over the course of days. You should also probably keep your distance during initial meetings. But if you’re already friends with your potential partner, you should definitely consider using it to prevent any serious attachments from forming.
One important point to remember is that you aren’t trying to scare him away. Instead, you should aim to tease him gently and slowly build trust and intimacy. You want to show him that you’re interested in him romantically, but you don’t want him to think that you’re ready to jump into bed with him immediately. This will help him develop strong emotional bonds with both of you.
In fact, sometimes playing hard-to-get is necessary in order to attract a man’s attention. Research shows that most men are attracted to confident women who are comfortable expressing themselves. By giving him a taste of what it would be like to have a relationship with her, she gives him something to aspire toward. She also lets him know that she’s interested in him, but she’s not yet ready to commit. In addition, studies indicate that women who were perceived as easy to get tended to lose interest faster than those who weren’t.
Another reason why playing hard-to-get works is simply due to human nature. People generally prefer novelty over familiarity, especially when it comes to romantic partners. If you suddenly stop pursuing a man, he may begin to wonder where you went and why you stopped calling. On the other hand, if you continue to pursue him despite his resistance, he’ll eventually start feeling guilty about pushing you away.
Finally, playing hard-to-get allows a woman to maintain mystery and intrigue long after she’s developed real feelings for a man. A man’s attraction to a mysterious quality can last indefinitely. As long as a woman continues to put him under pressure, he’ll remain intrigued. Eventually, however, he’ll realize that it’s impossible for him to live up to her standards and he’ll drop her — leaving her free to choose another suitor.
How Men Respond to Women Who Act “Hard-To-Get”
Men react to female behaviors differently. Sometimes, they can handle it gracefully, and sometimes it drives them crazy. One thing’s for certain, though: Playing hard-to-get is a challenge for most guys. Why is that?
For starters, it takes practice. Unlike with other forms of manipulation, a man usually won’t pick up on your attempts to play hard-to-get unless you specifically tell him that you’re doing it. And unlike many forms of manipulation, he won’t suspect you of pulling the same stunts on him every time you interact with him. This means you must be careful not to engage in any sort of repetitive behavior. Otherwise, he’ll learn to expect it from you.
Another problem is that it’s difficult to pull off successfully. If you’re constantly chasing him, he’s bound to tire of it pretty quickly. Even worse, if you’re seen as needy or desperate, you might appear unattractive to him.
But perhaps the biggest obstacle facing a man who plays hard-to-get is the very thing that attracts him to you in the first place: Your femininity. When a woman acts masculine, she appears more intimidating and powerful. But when she displays feminine traits, she becomes vulnerable to a man’s advances.
This is why many women find it difficult to play hard-to-get. Men want to protect themselves against vulnerability, but at the same time they crave to experience it firsthand. Because of this conflict, most guys find it tough to resist a woman who’s willing to flirt with them and display her femininity.
On the flip side, displaying vulnerability can also be risky business. While it seems attractive to many women, it can also prove to be extremely dangerous. It’s a fine line to tread, and it requires patience and skill.
Ultimately, whether it’s worth playing hard-to-get depends entirely on the individual situation. There are certainly situations when it’s perfectly acceptable to use it, but if you want to have a healthy, balanced relationship, you may want to reconsider.

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