Why Do I Hate Everyone

You’re at a party, standing in the kitchen talking with your friend about how much you love her new haircut when all of sudden she says something that makes you so mad you want to scream. You hear yourself yell “How could you?!” Then you look over and see her chatting up some guy who’s far too old for her — not just looking older, but visibly drunk because he has slurred speech and is swaying on his feet.
Or maybe someone takes advantage of you or tries to cheat you at poker while you’re playing alone? Your eyes narrow into aggressive little balls as you silently think “I’m going to win this hand.” Or perhaps you find yourself unable to say anything during an intimate conversation because deep down inside you don’t really believe what they are saying about their interest in you?
These scenarios sound ridiculous, but they happen every day. We get angry and lash out without even knowing why we do it. It’s easy to blame other people, especially if you’ve been burned by them before. But often the real reason we hate others stems from our own inner conflict. In fact, hating others actually reflects our hatred of ourselves.
Hating Others Is Self-Hatred
Self-hatred is nothing more than a self-perpetuating cycle of negative feelings toward oneself. Hatred causes us pain and suffering, making us uncomfortable around certain people or situations. As such, we try to avoid these things out of shame or guilt, which only leads to further problems. This cycle perpetuates itself until we end up hating everything.
The first step in breaking this pattern is realizing that you’re being hateful toward yourself. Self-hate can be subtle, and it may take time to recognize the signs. If you notice any of the following behaviors occurring within you, then you might have self-hatred issues:
Social Anxiety
You have social anxiety and dread interacting with people. When you go out shopping, you start to sweat profusely and become overwhelmed with fear. Even worse, when you talk to a salesperson, you freeze up and can’t speak. At work, you sit behind your desk wishing you were anywhere else. And when you’re home alone, you stare blankly at the wall. The problem isn’t necessarily with the person; instead, it’s how you perceive those interactions.
Avoidance/Protectionism
If you repeatedly experience anger or frustration, you might begin avoiding specific people or places. For example, you might avoid dating or job opportunities because you know you’ll inevitably run into someone who will hurt your feelings or put you in danger. Alternatively, you might try to protect yourself from getting hurt by sticking close to friends or family members. These strategies are understandable, but ultimately harmful. Staying away from the things you fear doesn’t help you overcome them; in fact, it makes them worse over time.
Excessive Guilt
When you consistently feel guilty for no apparent reason, there may be underlying issues preventing you from feeling comfortable in social settings. Some common culprits include alcohol abuse, drug use, eating disorders, low self-esteem, depression, etc. While extreme cases require professional attention, most of these conditions cause milder symptoms.
For instance, let’s say you drink excessively, causing you to black out and wake up next to strange men. Instead of feeling remorse or regret upon waking up, you feel ashamed and embarrassed because you lost control. Drinking is bad enough, but it becomes problematic when you turn it into a habit.
Breaking the Cycle
Once you realize that you are abusing or harming yourself emotionally, you need to figure out how to break the cycle. Below are several ways to cope with self-hatred. Try one or multiple methods and see if it helps reduce your emotional turmoil.
Accept Yourself
One way to stop hating others is to accept yourself for who you are. Just because you have flaws does not mean you should despise yourself. After all, everybody suffers from insecurity at times, whether it’s a childhood scar, physical attribute, or mental illness. If you focus on your flaws, you risk becoming consumed with negativity, but focusing on positive traits will help build confidence and improve your mood. So instead of thinking “I’m ugly,” consider “My face looks okay” or “I’m smart.”
Identify Causes
It’s important to understand what triggers your hatred. Is it anger, jealousy, disappointment, humiliation, or sadness? Once you identify the source, you can learn to manage it better. For example, if you tend to get jealous easily, then try to remind yourself that you shouldn’t act on that emotion. On the flip side, if you are prone to hostility, then practice meditation to calm your nerves.
Get Support
Seeking therapy or joining support groups can also provide relief. Most importantly, don’t isolate yourself from others. Make sure you spend time with supportive friends and family, engage in hobbies that relax you, and take care of your basic needs. Without proper nourishment, you can fall victim to another form of self-hate called codependence.
Learn From Mistakes
In life, we all make mistakes. Sometimes we are victims of circumstances beyond our control. Other times, we simply aren’t prepared for certain events. No matter what happens, the key is to learn from mistakes rather than dwell on them. By doing so, you can keep your head high despite failing numerous times.
Take responsibility for your actions and seek forgiveness from loved ones.
Let your failures teach you important lessons that help grow stronger and wiser.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Know that failure is part of success.
Accept compliments gracefully.
Do Not Be Afraid To Love Yourself
Love is the best medicine for self-hate. Loving yourself is essential for overcoming your personal demons. As long as you continue to dislike and criticize yourself, you will forever remain stuck in the same place. So instead of dwelling on your flaws, appreciate your strengths and virtues. Remember, you deserve happiness!
Sometimes loving yourself means accepting your sexuality regardless of your gender identity. If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or otherwise attracted to the opposite sex, then embracing your desires won’t always be an option. However, you can still acknowledge your sexual preference without forcing yourself to change it. Accepting your sexuality is crucial to living authentically, and it’s extremely important that you never hide it.
There are many misconceptions surrounding LGBT individuals and relationships. Often, society views homosexuality as immoral, unnatural, and perverted. Many religions consider homosexuality a sin, while others view it as a variation of normal human attraction. Regardless of your religious beliefs, remember that God created us in His image. Therefore, He knows what is right for us.
So, embrace your sexuality and live true to yourself.
Sources:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mind-in-balance/201505/why-do-i-hate-everyone
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia#Terminology

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