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Why Do I Hate My Life

by Lyndon Langley
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Why Do I Hate My Life

Why Do I Hate My Life

“Why do I hate my life?” is a question I’ve been asking myself for years. It’s the kind of self-questioning that can make you go over and over it, wondering how to find an answer. And when you’re not satisfied with your “answer,” you keep going back to rephrase it in different ways, hoping for something new. But what if there was a way to stop questioning yourself? What if we just stopped hating our lives altogether? Imagine what would happen if we could live our lives without constantly feeling dissatisfied with ourselves. We’d be so much happier!
In this article, I’ll share some reasons why we hate our lives and offer ideas on how to change them. First off, let me define the word “hate.” When most people think about hatred, they picture someone who has deep feelings of anger toward another person. While this is one type of hatred (and certainly deserves its own attention), I’m talking about a more general sort of hatred — a negative emotion that can cause us to dislike many aspects of our lives. This includes things like being overweight, having chronic pain or illness, living in constant fear, experiencing financial difficulties, etc. So next time you ask yourself why you hate your life, try thinking beyond the usual answers. Instead, consider some of the following possibilities.
We Often Set Unrealistic Expectations For Ourselves
Often times, we don’t really know what we want out of life until after we get it. Think back to childhood. How many times did you say “I want… but I want it NOW!”? Well, adulthood is no different. Many of us are in jobs we didn’t choose because we thought it would help us pay bills. We are married to people we regret marrying. We buy cars we don’t need because we think we deserve better than what we currently have. The list goes on.
So instead of setting realistic goals, many of us set unrealistic ones. We expect too much from ourselves. We expect a great job, perfect health, perfect relationships. If we fail at any of these, we become disappointed, angry and frustrated. We then start looking around for someone else to blame. Sound familiar?
Our Negative Beliefs About Ourself Don’t Support Us
Many of us grew up hearing messages such as “you’ll never amount to anything,” “you should be grateful you even exist,” “people like you aren’t worthy of love.” These kinds of beliefs can lead to depression, anxiety and other psychological problems later in life. They also prevent us from moving forward towards our dreams. For example, if we believe that we aren’t good enough, we won’t bother trying to improve our skills, education or knowledge. If we think we’re unworthy of love, we won’t date anyone. If we think everyone will see us as worthless, we won’t apply for promotions, accept compliments or act assertively. If we think we’re unloveable, we won’t pursue romantic interests.
Negative thoughts like these can be changed. All you have to do is decide which ones support you and which ones don’t, and replace those that don’t. It’s easy to identify the negative thoughts that hold us back. Just remember to focus on positive statements rather than negative ones.
We Have People Pleasing Tendencies
One reason we might hate our lives is due to our tendency to please others at the expense of ourselves. We may be extremely helpful, friendly and accommodating. Or we may be shy, timid or overly submissive. Regardless, we tend to put other peoples’ needs above our own. This can create resentment and unhappiness. It can also lead to poor decisions, such as choosing a partner who isn’t right for us.
This happens because we value gaining approval from others over doing what we truly want. We may have grown up seeing our parents do this all the time, and now we’re doing it ourselves. As adults, we mistakenly think we shouldn’t care what others think about us, but the truth is that we should. We need to take care of ourselves first before we can properly care for others.
We Have Perfectionist Or Control Freaks Tends To
Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by high standards and excessive concern for detail. A person with this trait feels uncomfortable with imperfections and tends to strive for total perfection. This causes him to miss out on simple pleasures, such as eating ice cream or watching TV shows. He may also avoid social settings where he knows he’ll inevitably encounter flaws.
Control freaks are similar to perfectionists in many ways. They worry excessively about their ability to control events and situations. They typically seek immediate gratification. They may also struggle with procrastination. Both traits can negatively affect our quality of life if we allow them to run wild.
How Can We Stop Hating Our Lives?
If you’re tired of hating your life, here are steps you can take to get started. Try each step for two weeks and notice how you feel afterward.

Identify Your Worst Problems – Write down everything that bothers you about your life. Be honest. Is it your weight? Lack of money? Chronic pain? Fear? Take stock of which problems are most important to you. Once you figure out which problem(s) you want to work on, move onto Step 2.

Write Down Goals – Make lists of small improvements you can make in your life. Put aside three months and commit to implementing one improvement per week. Focus on improving only one aspect of your life at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself by aiming to fix multiple issues at once.

Make Positive Statements – Start telling yourself supportive, encouraging words. Say things like “I’m worth loving,” “I am smart and capable,” “I have lots of friends.” Get into the habit of complimenting yourself regularly.

Take Care Of Yourself – Learn healthy habits that bring lasting joy and satisfaction into your life. Find activities you enjoy, whether relaxing outdoors, exercising, reading books or spending time with family and friends. Use your energy to engage in pleasurable experiences rather than worrying about past failures or future frustrations.

Be Patient With Yourself – Changing old behaviors takes time. Give yourself credit for the progress you’ve made already. Continue to reinforce successful behavior patterns while changing unsupportive behaviors.

Get Help – If you’re struggling with perfectionism or control freak tendencies, see a therapist or coach. Therapy offers an effective means to learn new coping strategies and develop healthier attitudes and values. Coaching provides focused feedback and accountability.
The main thing is to realize that you don’t have to continue hating your life. There are things you can do to change your current situation. Now that you understand the root causes of your dissatisfaction, you can begin taking action to reclaim your life. Before long, you’ll finally be able to say, “Why do I hate my life?!”

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