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Why Do People Hate Me

by Lyndon Langley
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Why Do People Hate Me

Why Do People Hate Me

Do you ever feel like your life sucks? That’s because it does suck! Everyone has problems in their lives and everyone deals with them differently. In fact, most people deal with them so well they don’t even notice what’s happening. But some people do notice. They feel resentment toward others, especially those who seem lucky or more fortunate than themselves. These feelings may be based on envy, jealously, or other negative emotions. Sometimes people develop these resentments after an event occurs where they felt mistreated or unfairly treated by another party. It could also be due to how someone was raised or if they have personal issues that were never resolved from childhood onward. Whatever the cause is, as long as the feeling exists, it will negatively affect the person’s relationships and self-esteem.
There are many reasons why people become angry at one time or another. Some common ones include:
· Envy – When we see something good going to someone else, it makes us want it even more. We begin to think about all the things we wish we had instead of being thankful for what we already possess. This leads to jealousy which often manifests itself into anger when we believe our efforts aren’t enough to get what we want. The best way to avoid this problem is to take inventory of what you have right now. Then appreciate it. If there is anything missing from your list, try not to focus on it. Instead, find positive solutions to improve yourself or your circumstances. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on what you don’t have.
· Jealousy – One reason why people dislike others is because they’re jealous of what others have. Maybe a friend got a new job, a pet, or won the lottery. You may feel left out since you didn’t receive any of these gifts. Or maybe you feel neglected since you haven’t heard from someone for days or weeks. Either way, if you’re angry at someone you’ve lost contact with, ask yourself why you’re upset. Is it really worth letting someone else have something you want or need?
· Unfairness – Perhaps someone did something to hurt you or you weren’t given fair treatment during a business transaction. Perhaps you were fired from work but the company made millions without firing anyone. In either case, you may feel cheated or taken advantage of. As unfair as it may seem, remember that no one is perfect and sometimes we have to learn to live with the cards we were dealt. Learn from the experience and move forward. Anger won’t change the outcome.
If you find yourself becoming angry over something minor, consider whether it’s worth dwelling on it. Often times, it’s better to let go and forgive rather than allowing negativity to build up inside of you and cause stress. Consider talking to a trusted friend or counselor about how best to handle the issue. If you’re unable to resolve the problem amicably, perhaps it would be best to walk away and leave it alone. Try to put it behind you before it becomes a bigger problem.
If you find yourself becoming angry with someone you care about, consider how you might react next time. Think about what might trigger your anger. For example, if you’re having trouble communicating with your spouse, consider taking some time apart to relax and cool off. Once you calm down, talk to each other again. Avoid using violence or abusive language to communicate. Make sure the tone of your conversation reflects respect and kindness.
When expressing your anger, avoid yelling or screaming. Yelling only creates tension between you and whoever offended you. Screaming will make you appear unstable or irrational. Remember, you’re trying to solve a problem here. Express yourself calmly while still making your point clear. Ask questions and listen carefully. Show empathy and understanding.
Often times, when someone expresses their anger, it means they’re hurting deep within. Therefore, it’s important to give them the support they need to express themselves. And keep in mind, whatever you say, actions speak louder than words. So if you yell or scream, you’ll likely come across as aggressive instead of peaceful. If you’re able to remain composed, chances are the offender will follow suit.
Anger can be difficult to control. However, the key is to manage it rather than letting it consume you. Take responsibility for your reaction and choose to respond peacefully. Be kind and patient with yourself, and know that you deserve happiness and joy. With practice, you’ll gain confidence in managing your anger and you’ll find that the happier you are, the less anger you experience.
Copyright 2009 Karen Friedman Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved.

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