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Why Do People Take Advantage Of Me

by Lyndon Langley
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Why Do People Take Advantage Of Me

Why Do People Take Advantage Of Me

I was having lunch with my friend, who is an attorney. I had just finished telling her about this article and the question that I asked myself when I noticed she looked very upset. She said several words but one stood out above all other: “It makes me sick.”
She went on to tell me that it really bothered her to see so many attorneys taking advantage of their clients – especially those who are already vulnerable (like elderly or disabled). The type of thing she meant by “taking advantage” included giving poor advice, charging ridiculously high fees, and even stealing money from their clients.
What shocked me wasn’t the fact that there were attorneys doing these horrible things – because we know what kind of reputation lawyers have. It shocked me that someone would take issue with it and say it made them feel bad. What could be worse than being ripped off?
The truth is that feeling less-than is something almost everyone goes through at least once in their life. And while it might not make you feel as if you’re worthy of love, it doesn’t mean you deserve to be cheated or robbed.
Let’s look at why people take advantage of others. When a person feels like they aren’t good enough…it feels terrible! We want people to notice us, admire our accomplishments, and appreciate our talents. But often times, deep down inside we don’t think anyone will ever find value in us. We feel a sense of unworthiness. So instead of trying to change ourselves for the better, we try to change for the worse. We do things to feel “better enough.”
That’s why people take advantage of others. They feel a need to help others in order to feel “better enough.” If your child has trouble paying attention in class, you may spend time coaching him/her more. Or you may offer extra tutoring after school. You might volunteer to chaperone field trips. These actions allow you to experience feelings of pride, accomplishment, and self worth.
However, these same behaviors can also cause you to become a victim. For example, imagine you’ve been volunteering to help tutor students in math. One day, you discover that one of the kids you helped regularly has stolen money from his parents’ checking account. He admits to using the stolen funds to purchase things he wanted. How would you feel knowing that you gave your best to help another kid, only to have him use the knowledge you shared against you?
We all struggle with feeling unworthy. But we shouldn’t let this keep us from achieving success. Just remember that no matter where you start, you’ll never achieve anything without first believing in yourself. This is true whether you want to run a marathon, write a novel, or climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.
Here are 3 ways to avoid becoming a victim:
1) Understand that you are always valuable; you are never too old or too young.
2) Recognize that you are responsible for everything that happens to you.
3) Accept that you deserve to receive whatever you desire.
You are never too old or too young. You are valuable, regardless of age, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, or disability. Your contributions should not go unnoticed. In the book, Love Has Forgotten No One, author David Richo writes, “Our lives are filled with opportunities to show compassion toward others. Some people seem to have a knack for doing so effortlessly, yet others agonize over every word they speak or action they take.”
It is important to recognize that you are responsible for everything that happens to you. Most people believe they didn’t choose the circumstances that surround them but rather that it happened to them. However, the truth is that everything in our lives is within our control. As Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.” Meaning, you create your reality.
Accepting responsibility also means recognizing that you deserve to receive whatever you desire. You deserve to live a happy, healthy, prosperous life. Even if you don’t currently have everything you desire, you still deserve to receive happiness, joy, abundance, prosperity, health, and well-being. You deserve to be loved, appreciated, admired, respected, trusted, valued, and supported. You deserve financial freedom, peace, contentment, and fulfillment. You deserve to learn new skills, grow your business, enjoy travel, and spend quality time with friends and family. You deserve to be free of debt, worry, anxiety, fear, and stress. You deserve to be healthy. You deserve to succeed and thrive.
Now that you understand why people take advantage of others and how to avoid falling into this trap, you can begin creating your own personal growth plan. To get started, ask yourself the following questions:
How did you come across as a result of your past experiences?
What is your biggest obstacle?
What do you lack confidence in accomplishing?
Who are you blaming for your current situation?
What needs to happen to improve your situation?
Then figure out how you can make changes to overcome your obstacles and accomplish your goals. Once you identify what you want, take small steps towards your goal each week. Then watch how your life unfolds before your eyes.
People take advantage of others because they feel unappreciated, undervalued, and disrespected. By acknowledging your struggles, learning to accept them, and developing solutions to address them, you can transform your inner world and build a better outer world. Now that you understand why people take advantage of others, you can begin creating your own personal growth plan. To get started, ask yourself the following questions:
How did you come across as a result of your past experiences?
What is your biggest obstacle?
What do you lack confidence in accomplishing?
Who are you blaming for your current situation?
What needs to happen to improve your situation?
Once you answer these questions, determine what specific steps you need to take to overcome your obstacles and accomplish your goals. Then follow up on your plans consistently until you reach your desired outcome. Remember, your thoughts create your emotions and your emotions create your physical reality. Therefore, what you focus on expands.
In summary, no one likes feeling taken advantage of. Learning how to spot people who take advantage of others is part of growing personally. There isn’t anything wrong with wanting to feel good about yourself. And by changing your perspective and thinking differently, you can become more aware of what’s happening around you. With awareness comes empowerment. Empowerment gives you the ability to take back control of your life.

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