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Why Do Women Play Hard To Get

by Lyndon Langley
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Why Do Women Play Hard To Get

Why Do Women Play Hard To Get

Hard to get is a phrase that has been used by men since at least the 1930s when it was popularized by Errol Flynn’s character Robin Hood in “The Adventures of Robin Hood” (1938). The idea behind playing hard to get is pretty simple; you don’t want someone who will come after you too easily or who won’t put in any effort to court you. You want someone who is going to be difficult to get because they’re interested in you but aren’t rushing into things. This concept is often paired with not wanting to fall victim to another person’s charms or seductive tactics. But why do we use this strategy? Why do women play hard to get?
In order to understand this behavior, one must first understand what makes people attracted to each other in the first place. People tend to find others attractive based on their appearance, personality, and compatibility. Compatibility can be broken down further into three factors: shared values, similar interests, and compatible personalities. Shared values and interests usually overlap, so these two aspects tend to go hand-in-hand. When people have similar values and interests, there isn’t much room left over for compatibility. In fact, it may even become harder to attract them because they’ve found something they both like.
Shared values include beliefs about how life should be lived, while shared interests refer to activities and experiences that bring pleasure and joy. As humans, we naturally gravitate towards those who share our values and interests. We feel most comfortable around those who think similarly to us and enjoy doing the same types of things together. Therefore, when a man wants to attract a woman he finds attractive, he needs to make sure his actions match her interests. If she doesn’t share his interest(s), then he might struggle to keep up with her if they start dating.
A woman, however, does not necessarily need to meet all of a man’s shared interests before initiating a relationship. A man may already have enough experience and friends who would gladly introduce him to new activities and places where he can learn new things. However, just having some common interests is not enough to attract a woman. She also wants a man who feels confident in himself and capable of handling whatever situation comes along. He needs to be able to show off his skills and abilities without feeling insecure or afraid.
This leads us to the third factor of compatibility – personality. Personality refers to a person’s unique characteristics and qualities. It includes traits such as confidence, integrity, and overall likability. Someone who possesses many positive traits is considered to have a good personality. Good personalities are generally sought after due to their ability to attract others. For instance, people like to join groups led by charismatic leaders, and therefore prefer to date men who are charismatic and assertive. They also look for men who are honest and trustworthy, which allows them to grow closer to them.
Personality compatibility is essential when attracting another person, especially for women. Most people want to be with someone who complements them rather than someone who doesn’t fit well with their own personality. Since personality is largely determined by genetics, it is very unlikely that a man and woman could ever perfectly match each other’s personalities. Even though personality is partly influenced by genetics, it is also shaped by environment, upbringing, education, and socialization.
When it comes to attraction, it seems that men and women are using different strategies to accomplish their goals. While men seem to be pursuing women, women are trying to avoid being pursued. Although these behaviors appear contradictory, they have evolved from a long history of sexual selection. Sexual selection is the natural process through which certain members of a species reproduce more offspring than others.  It occurs when some individuals within a population have access to resources (preferably mates) that allow them to pass on their genes to future generations.  Over time, some members of the population with superior reproductive capabilities will survive longer and produce more offspring than their competitors.  As a result, they will gradually evolve larger body size, better sensory perception, faster running speed, higher intelligence, etc., allowing them to succeed in competition against other males for mating opportunities.
Since women typically give birth only once every 20 years or less, unlike men, they have no choice but to compete for desirable male partners. Their reproductive success depends on finding a suitable mate, preferably one with high genetic quality. Mating with a genetically inferior partner would increase the risk of passing on poor health conditions to future generations, possibly resulting in lower survival rates. Thus, women try to minimize the possibility of falling prey to a bad gene pool by putting up barriers that prevent undesirable suitors from approaching them.  These barriers range from physical defenses such as camouflage, aggressive displays, and scent marking to psychological ones such as avoiding emotional disclosure and keeping distance.  Some women may even resort to deceptive tactics such as wearing sexy clothing and pretending to be unavailable.
Men, on the other hand, have few limitations on reproduction. Once a man reaches puberty, he begins developing sperm cells. Unlike women, whose eggs stay dormant until ovulation, men begin producing sperm almost immediately after puberty. Once mature, sperm cells live inside seminal vesicles located near the prostate gland. Sperm can travel through several regions of the female anatomy, including the vagina, uterus, and fallopian tubes, before meeting an egg cell. After fertilization, the zygote develops into an embryo, which eventually becomes a baby boy or girl.  Therefore, men have little reason to worry about preventing themselves from impregnating multiple women.
So if women have developed ways to protect themselves from unwanted advances, what happens when a man approaches a woman he finds beautiful? What attracts men to women who are seemingly out of reach? One answer to this question is that men and women are actually following complementary strategies to achieve their respective reproductive objectives. Another possible explanation is that human sexuality is complicated and multifaceted, making it difficult for either sex to fully comprehend everything involved.
Although it may be tempting to believe that men are inherently chasing women and women are trying to avoid being chased, the truth is probably somewhere in between. On the one hand, studies indicate that men are more inclined to engage in romantic relationships than women. On the other hand, researchers suggest that women may be more reluctant to initiate intimate contact with strangers. Researchers have suggested that women are more cautious about trusting men and that men are more prone to chase.
Regardless of whether these differences are innate or learned, the tendency to follow a certain strategy appears to be driven by evolutionary forces. And although it may be uncomfortable to admit, women may sometimes be the pursuers instead of the pursued.

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