Why Does It Hurt When I Come Female
When it comes to sex and pleasure, there’s no doubt that women are the ones who do most of the work. Women have long been expected to orgasm through intercourse alone and for men to move on to other sexual activities once they’ve satisfied their partners’ physical needs. While this may still be true in some cases, today’s women enjoy greater access to information about sex and masturbation than ever before — including how to achieve pleasurable orgasms without penetration. In addition to learning more about themselves, modern women also have much broader options in terms of where to find pleasure with a partner or by herself while masturbating. If you feel tired of having your body penetrated or if you want to try something new, here are five reasons why coming female might hurt.
It hurts because…
1) You’re not aroused enough. Sometimes sex is uncomfortable when you’re not aroused enough. Or maybe you just don’t know what turns her on. Masturbation can help you figure out exactly what feels good. Start by touching yourself all over (your breasts, nipples, clitoris), then focus on different spots as you get closer to climaxing. Focus especially on areas that feel sensitive, such as your vagina and/or anus. For best results, use lubricant — water-based lube works well for both solo and partnered play. As your arousal increases, so will your sensitivity. Once you feel ready to move into intercourse, talk dirty to increase your excitement level. Make sure to breathe deeply throughout the experience.
2) You have a vaginal infection or a skin condition, like allergies or psoriasis. Sex can exacerbate symptoms from many types of vaginal infections, such as yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, trichomoniasis, or herpes simplex virus type 2 (the HSV-2 strain). Likewise, people with certain types of skin disorders, such as eczema or dermatitis, often experience discomfort during sex due to irritation caused by contact between genital tissue and affected areas. If you think you have an infection or a skin disorder, consult your health care provider. He or she can prescribe medications to treat the problem and offer advice regarding ways to avoid further discomfort.
3) The angles aren’t right. Your position during sex plays an important role in whether you come female or male. The right angle depends on your anatomy. Some positions are better suited for one gender or another, but finding yours isn’t easy. Try experimenting with different positions until you discover one that feels good to you. During missionary-style intercourse, the man should sit back on his elbows or forearms while facing forward with his penis pointing toward the ceiling. This provides the woman with optimal stimulation of her clitoris and labia majora while allowing him to maintain eye contact. Other great positions include side-by-side lying on top of each other with knees bent; spooning with legs entwined under your partner; woman kneeling up with hips slightly tilted toward the floor; and sitting up straight with the woman on top.
4) She doesn’t like being dominated. If you tend to be aggressive in bed, you might cause your partner distress. Many women prefer to be submissive during sex. A lot of couples engage in BDSM activity, which involves giving and receiving erotic stimuli. Although BDSM activity can be enjoyable for some, others would rather not participate at all. If you’re interested in exploring this area, talk to your partner about what he or she enjoys and does not enjoy. Also, keep in mind that some people find domination stressful or even painful, regardless of their gender.
5) There’s too much pressure. Pressure during intercourse can lead to injury. The ideal amount of pressure varies depending on where you touch. For example, using too much pressure on the clitoris can result in tearing, whereas less pressure can make the experience unpleasant. With internal stimulation, the ideal pressure is firm, yet gentle. To avoid hurting yourself, pay attention to how hard you press down. If you notice any unusual changes in sensation (such as tingly feelings or burning sensations), stop immediately and take a break.
If you’re experiencing pain during female ejaculation, see a doctor. Pain during female ejaculation could indicate several medical issues, including pelvic inflammatory disease, endometriosis, fibroids, ovarian cysts, or cancer.
For more information about women’s health, please see the links on the following page.
Pain during sex can be difficult to pinpoint. Even though some pain is inevitable, there are things you can do to reduce the possibility of future problems. Consult your physician if you experience severe pain after sex and are concerned about its potential causes.
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