Why Is Everyone Mean To Me

There are many people in this world that are mean. Often they have been told by others or they learned as a result of their own experiences and life lessons, that being mean is okay. And so when they see someone being treated unfairly or worse yet they treat themselves in the same way they will continue to do so. And one of the most common reasons for meanness is due to emotional reaction. In such situations the person may just be reacting without thinking through the impact of their reaction. Although it may seem like a good idea at the time, their actions could end up causing more harm than good. It’s important therefore, to think about your motives before you react. You might want to consider why someone has done something to you recently and what effect it had on you. This will help you to gain clarity and insight into how you really feel. The next step would be to work out if your emotions were justified or not. If they weren’t then it may well be worth changing your behaviour accordingly. However, if you find yourself unable to change even after working things out, then perhaps you need professional assistance.
Another reason for being mean could be because we hold onto anger from an old experience and refuse to let go of our feelings. We may believe that holding onto the anger will make us feel better but it doesn’t actually do anything other than cause more pain. In order to release the anger we must first realise there is nothing we can do about the situation right now. When we become aware of how much anger we’re feeling we can begin to understand its role within our lives. Anger is simply energy which means it cannot hurt another human unless we allow it to. By letting go of our anger we’ll free ourselves from the burden of carrying around all those negative energies. Holding onto anger also prevents us from moving forward with our lives. So we should learn to accept that sometimes things don’t turn out the way we expect them too. Just because we’ve been disappointed once doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try again. Life isn’t always fair and in fact some things never happen at all!
A third example of meanness is where we compare ourselves negatively with others. Comparing ourselves with others puts us under pressure and causes unnecessary stress and anxiety. As soon as we start comparing ourselves with others our mind begins to look outside of ourselves for validation and approval. This leads us down a path of self-doubt and negativity. Our confidence levels drop while our self esteem plummets. There’s no point trying to compete against someone who’s far less qualified than us. If we’re honest with ourselves we know that we’re not going to win anyway. Instead of focusing on the competition itself we should focus on our goals and aspirations. And as long as we keep striving to improve and reach new heights, we’ll eventually get there.
So if you recognise any of these examples of meanness occurring in your life then I encourage you to take action immediately. Even though you may already be suffering in silence, it’s never too late to change. Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Once you’ve worked through the root problems behind your meanness you will be able to live a happier life.
“Life is not easy. But if you choose to make it harder, it only gets tougher.” – Henry Ford
© 2009 Christine Larsen

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